Adjusting to Life with a 3 month old

Wow!  Where have the last 3 and a half months gone?  I ask myself this question every day, and I still can't answer it.  Just when I think we start getting in a routine, Mackenzie throws me a curve ball, and I feel like I'm starting from scratch. 

A little back story on why I decided to start a blog, and the journey to this point.

Not many people know, but we had an extremely hard time getting pregnant.  After several months of trying, my doctor decided it was time to do fertility drugs due to me having PCOS that was diagnosed when I was 14 years old.  I was put on Clomid and one of the side effects is weight gain.  On top of the weight I already needed to loose I gained about 20 pounds with the medicine.  We did 3 rounds of Clomid and after each round I would get blood work.  Each month passed and I was told that it didn't work.  After the third month my doctor told me that if we wanted to keep trying that I would have to go see a specialist. After much prayer and long discussions, We decided to postpone any more treatment for 6 months and enjoy life with each other. After 6 months we would revisit the idea of fertility treatment. About 2 weeks after the last negative test, I began to feel strange and bloated and decided to take a pregnancy test just because.  I had already prepared myself for another let down, however this time it was a little different.  It was positive.  After 6 more test, of 3 different brands, I was finally convinced it was actually true.  

Fast forward 9 months of a horrible pregnancy where I was in so much pain and so sick that I was unable to continue to exercise.  I gained around 35 pounds during pregnancy, and on top of the 20 I gained before becoming pregnant I was now up to needing to loose 55 pounds just to get back to pre-baby weight.  This isn't counting the 20-30 I needed to loose before that.  

So fast forward until now...

After Mackenzie was born, within 2 weeks I had lost 25 of the 35 pounds I gained during pregnancy (of course 8 lbs 8 oz of that was Mackenzie herself).  After I was cleared by the doctor at 6 weeks to continue normal activity, I immediately started exercising again. Withing a week, I was sick with a fever and sinus infection and had to postpone again.  Once I got over that one, I immediately got another sinus infection and double ear infection and had to postpone again.  Once I was finally well, I started saying tomorrow I will work out or tomorrow I will cook a healthy dinner.  Well tomorrow would come and go, and nothing would get done.  I always had an excuse, and always a good one since I'm always with the baby, but I continued to always say tomorrow.  

Well after 2 months of saying tomorrow I'm going to do (insert whatever here), I finally decided this weekend I was going to turn tomorrow into today.  Saturday, I went and joined the gym, and I started meal prepping.  Within 3 hours total time of grocery shopping, and prepping, I have 6 meals ready to throw in a crockpot for easy dinner.  Seriously, why have I not done this before?!  Yesterday, all I had to do was open a freezer bag and dump the food into a slow cooker and 7 hours later dinner was ready.  It was so easy to prep the food while Gill was at home to help with Mackenzie, that I now am going to start doing this every Saturday/ Sunday for the week.  This week I made Cilantro Lime Chicken, Spinach and Salsa Chicken, Low Fat Mexican Fiesta Chicken, Hawaiian Chicken, Lemon Pepper Chicken, and Sausage, Peppers,and Onions.  Our total grocery bill was around $150, but I bought fresh veggies to use instead of canned to try to cut down the sodium, and processed food.  I know, almost all chicken, but I don't particularly like beef, and chicken is just so easy to cook in a slow cooker.  I plan to post my favorite recipes after each week.

Now for the exercising.  This hasn't been quite as easy to get motivated to do.  I always use the excuse of Mackenzie was so fussy today, or she wouldn't sleep, etc. I also have a fear of leaving her with someone besides myself.  After hearing from several people who use the childcare at the same gym Gill uses, and how much they love it, I went for my own inspection this weekend.  I have to say I was actually impressed, and decided to bite the bullet and join that day.  I knew if I didn't do it then, I wouldn't.  Today is the first day I'm planning to go, and I have to say I'm a little nervous.  I'm so out of shape, and have a fear of being the person who can't finish a workout, can't keep up, or being judged by the way I look that this is really taking me out of my comfort zone.  This sounds dramatic, but it really has taken a lot of prayer for me to get to the point of going.  I know it is going to be hard, and I know I will have to make a conscious decision to go every day, but I have the motivation now to do it.  If I don't do it for myself, I want to do it for my family.  I don't want to be the mom on the sidelines who physically can't play with her kids.  I want to be the fun mom, out in the yard running around with my family, playing tag or ball.  

This blog is more for myself to help keep me accountable for what I'm doing.  No one else may read it, and it may annoy some people seeing another blog, but I don't care.  I want to see my progress as time goes on, and share with people my successes and failures.  I want to be "real" and not sugar coat how I'm feeling.  I know this is going to be a long difficult journey with lots of highs and lows, but I know as long as I have faith in myself, and ask God for the strength I need, I will succeed.